you have to love any owner ...

... who keeps making roster moves even after their team misses the playoffs. Catastrophic Success, we salute you.

a great story in my very own newspaper

The short version: Rich parents go school-shopping (and buy a second home worth nearly $740,000) so their high schooler can have a better chance of being the starting quarterback.

To read main story, click here .
To read sidebar, click here .

the language of presidents

From 2007 -- then-candidate Obama, talking about his dislike of debates:

"So when Brian Williams is asking me about what's a personal thing that you've done [that's green], and I say, you know, 'Well, I planted a bunch of trees.' And he says, 'I'm talking about personal.' What I'm thinking in my head is, 'Well, the truth is, Brian, we can't solve global warming because I f–––ing changed light bulbs in my house. It's because of something collective'."

what went wrong? (in 10 words or less)

* Babs: Wide receivers never caught fire.

* Catastrophic Success: Mad scientist kept mixing chemicals until lab blew up.

* Flaming Chickens: Ocho Stinko.

* Steel Curtain: Done in by Donovan.

* Winehausfrau: Fine, owner can run her own team then.

* Your Original Champions: Lost Tom Brady. Lost all interest.

thursday games

Three of them this week:

* Tennessee at Detroit

* Seattle at Dallas

* Arizona at Philadelphia

week 12

We now have our playoff teams, but the last week of the regular season will determine who plays who. If 2 or more teams end up with the same record, total points scored will be the tiebreaker for seeding purposes.

Brash Upstarts Division -- It will be Dirty Sanchez, Shiners and Montana.

Wily Veterans Division -- Taxmen, Cavalry and Weapons.

* No. 1 seed (Dirty Sanchez) -- first-round bye
* No. 2 seed (division champ) -- first-round bye
* No. 3 seed vs. No. 6 seed -- winner plays #2 seed
* No. 4 seed vs. No. 5 seed -- winner plays #1 seed

pittsburgh, 1960

Google is putting the archives of Life magazine online. Click here to start your search. The caption for this photo says "Pittsburgh Pirate fans atop the University's Cathedral of Learning looking down at Forbes Field and celebrating winning World Series."

a bar bet just waiting to happen

The word "boycott" originated with a real person: Capt. Charles C. Boycott, a land agent in Ireland who in the late 1800s was ostracized for his refusal to reduce rents. It's an example of an eponym, a word that derives from an individual's name. Some other examples: sandwich, sideburns, quisling, maverick, guillotine, bloomers, bougainvillea, leotard and guppy.

spare change

With "change" being the running theme of the presidential campaign, here are some songs for you iPod'ers out there:

* A Change is Gonna Come -- Sam Cooke

* A Change (Would Do You Good) -- Sheryl Crow

* Changes -- David Bowie

* Changes in Latitudes Changes in Attitudes -- Jimmy Buffett

* Change Partners -- Stephen Stills

* Cool Change -- Little River Band

* Money Changes Everything -- Cyndi Lauper

* The Times They Are A-Changing -- Bob Dylan

* There'll Be Some Changes Made -- Billie Holliday or Ethel Waters or Tony Bennett

* You Can't Change That -- Raydio

another thursday game

Cincinnati at Pittsburgh. Set your rosters accordingly. (A quick check shows 8 Steelers and 3 Bengals on various rosters.)

so, commish, how's that trade working out for you?

Couldn't be happier. Thanks for asking.

Total points the commish traded for: 8.

Total points the commish traded away: 22.

she wuz robbed

Steel Curtain's 4-point loss to Montana would have been a 3-point victory had the refs not overturned the last-play defensive touchdown in the Steelers-Chargers game. The refs admitted they blew the call.

The play was costly in other ways: Las Vegas bookies figure that millions of dollars were lost by people who bet on the Steelers to cover the 5-point spread.

 

tying? there's no tying in football

Flaming Chickens and Cat Success played to a 35-35 standstill. By league rules, the team with the most bench points wins. Advantage, Flaming Chickens.

This serves as a good reminder to everyone to make sure they have 6 players on the bench and no more. (Not to kick Steel Curtain when they're down, but they need to drop one from their bench.)

wily veterans, week 11

For the first time since the first week of the season, the Taxmen are not in first place. Weapons takes over the top spot, with Taxmen-Cavalry-Cat Success-Steel Curtain still to be sorted out. Division game of the week: Taxmen vs. Weapons.

 

brash upstarts, week 11

Dirty Sanchez rolls along and has wrapped up the No. 1 seed in the playoffs. Shiners (with the most points in the league) close in on a playoff spot, while this week's Montana-Winehausfrau tilt looms large.

trade winds

Not that this would apply to anyone but the overzealous commish, but let's make the trading deadline a week from today -- Thursday, November 20.

what might have been

The New York Times asked several people what they would miss about President Bush. Here's the best response, reprinted in full:

I feel nostalgic about the person I knew as Gov. George W. Bush. I miss that guy. He was the best politician I ever saw. He really was ''a uniter, not a divider.'' He refused to kowtow to the far right. He worked with Democrats to strengthen public education, while Republicans were pushing vouchers. He had four vacancies on the Texas Supreme Court and he filled them all with centrist judges. The extreme right wing of the Republican Party was his enemy, not his ally. His administration was untainted by scandal. Karl Rove remained an outside consultant rather than a gubernatorial staffer.

But when he reached the White House, Governor Bush vanished, to be replaced by President George W. Bush -- a person I didn't recognize. He was never to return.

-- PAUL BURKA, senior executive editor of Texas Monthly

wily veterans, week 10

All of a sudden there's a race -- Taxmen, Cavalry and Weapons tied for first place (though Taxmen are still ahead in the points-scored tiebreaker), with Cat Success just a game back. Remember, only 3 teams from each division go to the playoffs.

brash upstarts, week 10

Dirty Sanchez, still undefeated after beating Taxmen in a battle of first-place teams. Shiners edge closer to the playoffs, while Winehausfrau and Montana sit tied with just 3 weeks to go.

the weeks to come

For those of you who might actuallly take the time to plot out the coming weeks (especially if you're looking to the playoffs or you may be thinking of making a trade), click here and scroll down to see all the NFL teams' remaining schedules.

this week

bye weeks are all done.

there's a thursday game -- jets and patriots. check your roster accordingly.

things to watch on your computer when you don't feel like working

Time magazine's top 10 videos from the campaign. Click here .

mark your calendar

Monday, January 19, 2009 is Martin Luther King Jr. Day.

The next day, Barack Obama will be sworn in as president.

election day

The commish did his part for democracy by a) voting and b) running the newsroom election pool.

early voting

Here in North Carolina, 2.5 million people voted early. That's a whopping 41 percent of registered voters, and just about as many as the total number of voters in the 1996 presidential election. (It will be interesting to see if that has skewed the pre-election polls, most of which say N.C. is too close to call.)

for what it's worth ...

Former White House consigliere Karl Rove is predicting it will be Obama, 338 electoral votes to 200.

best election quote ever

THE PEOPLE HAVE SPOKEN ... THE BASTARDS.

-- Dick Tuck, 1964, after losing a race for the California state Senate.

bye weeks - week 10

Cincinnati, Dallas, Tampa Bay, Washington

thursday game this week

Denver vs. Cleveland, so check your rosters early.

wily veterans, week 9

Suddenly, it's a race. The Taxmen's lead over Cat Success, Weapons and the Cavalry is down to a single game, with Steel Curtain just a game back of them. Taxmen also get Dirty Sanchez this weekend in a matchup of first-place teams. 

brash upstarts, week 9

Congratulations to Dirty Sanchez, still undefeated and the first to secure a playoff spot. The other two spots in this division are still up for grabs, with Montana and the Shiners leading the way. (FYI, Louis has been advised that he has a couple of days to get his roster down to 14, or else the commish will go in and do it for him.)

magazine covers from the campaign

Click here to see a lot more of them.

somehow i'm not surprised

A newspaper trade magazine surveyed college papers for their presidential endorsements. Of the 64 responses, 63 backed obama. The one that backed McCain: the University of Mississippi.