the kennedy chronicles

Where Chappaquiddick was first mentioned in Ted Kennedy obituaries:

* Boston Globe -- 5th paragraph

* Wall Street Journal -- 6th graph

* Associated Press -- 7th graph

* Times of London -- 8th graph

* Washington Post -- 9th graph

* Boston Herald -- 10th graph

* Miami Herald -- 10th graph

* National Journal -- 11th graph

* L.A. Times / Chicago Tribune (same story) -- 12th graph

* New York Daily News -- 13th graph

* New York Times -- 14th graph

* New York Post -- 14th graph

* Reuters -- 18th graph

* USA Today -- 19th graph

* Politico -- 24th graph

* Roll Call -- 25th graph

* The Hill -- no mention

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best fantasy year ever

In 1961, playing for the AFL's Houston Oilers, QB George Blanda threw for 3300 yards and 36 touchdowns ... and also kicked 16 field goals and 64 extra points. Without doing all the math, I'm figuring that put him in the neighborhood of 20 points a game or so (it was a 14-game season back then).

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a soliloquy, as performed by brett favre

(with apologies to William Shakespeare and dithering Danish princes everywhere)

To be, or not to be -- that there's the question.
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
and sling the spiral for outrageous fortune
or to take leave from a D of troubles
and by retiring, end it.
To suit up, perchance to dream: shoot, there's the rub,
for in suiting up what dreams may come
'til we have scrambled off this mortal soil ...

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The usual suspects

Just to recap ...

* Plaxico Burress will serve two years in prison after pleading guilty to a weapons charge.
* Saints K Garrett Hartley to be suspended for four games for testing positive for a stimulant. Taxmen were quick to cut him and pick up older-than-dirt John Carney.
* Brandon Marshall (Diane) acquitted of misdemeanor battery charges. Back with the Bronocs, though still unhappy.
* Eagles have signed Michael Vick (Louis). He'll be back in week 6 at the latest.
* Marshawn Lynch (Neil) will miss the first 3 games after pleading guilty to a gun charge.
* Donte Stallworth has been suspended for the season after pleading guilty to DUI manslaughter.

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the old heave 'ho

QB Brett Favre (free agent) has signed with the Vikings.

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what passes for fashion in pittsburgh

Of the 25 top-selling jerseys between April and August, three were from the Steelers: Polamalu at #2, Roethlisberger at #3 and Hines Ward at #11. No. 1? New Chicago QB Jay Cutler.

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The Bus is back!

Not so fast -- it was just a wardrobe malfunction at the Redskins game.

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all rosters have been loaded ...

... along with tentative starting lineups. Take a look and make sure you have who you think you have. The Add/Drop Cafe is also open for business.

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first trade of the year has been consummated

Please congratulate the happy couple, Rege Jr. and Kevin Simard. A trade of defenses -- Rege Jr. now has the Ravens, while Kevin gets the Patriots. The commish approved this whilst relaxing in the pool on Tuesday. No bribes were taken (and sadly, none were tendered).

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meet my high school football coach

He won't show up on any list of all-time Pirates greats, but Hugh McLaurin Pepper won a couple of games for them from 1954 to 1957 before coming back home to Mississippi. He had also been drafted by the Steelers (he was a running back in college).

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no hard feelings

Still smarting from three losses to the Steelers last year, Baltimore Ravens LB Terrell Suggs showed up for training camp in this T-shirt.

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best rolling stones songs ever. period.

Care to weigh in? Meet me at the beach. I'm bringing some friends.


* gimme shelter
* waiting on a friend
* paint it black
* sympathy for the devil
* let's spend the night together
* child of the moon
* under my thumb
* time is on my side
* dead flowers
* as tears go by

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greetings from the no-homer zone

The Panthers reported to camp Sunday. I offered this up for a front-page headline in light of QB Jake Delhomme's five-interception, one-fumble performance against the Cardinals in the playoffs last year. (Note the electric fan in his left hand.)

It was not accepted.


JAKE'S

ONE

FAN

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last year's scoring elite

a quick look at the top-shelf players from last year under our scoring system. but as they say on the mutual fund commercials, past results are no guarantee of future performance.

QUARTERBACKS (150 or more points)
* Drew Brees / Aaron Rodgers / Phillip Rivers / Kurt Warner / Jay Cutler (now with Chicago) / Peyton Manning / Donovan McNabb / Matt Cassel (now with KC)

RUNNING BACKS (140 or more points)
* DeAngelo Williams / Michael Turner / Thomas Jones / Matt Forte / Brandon Jacobs / Adrian Peterson / Maurice Jones-Drew / Ladanian Tomlinson / Brian Westbrook

WIDE RECEIVERS (100 or more points)
* Larry Fitzgerald / Calvin Johnson / Andre Johnson / Greg Jennings / Randy Moss / Anquan Boldin / Terrell Owens (now with Buffalo) / Roddy White / Steve Smith / Lance Moore / Antonio Bryant

DEFENSES (100 or more points)
* Steelers / Ravens / Eagles / Titans / Vikings / Giants / Bucs

Only 2 players scored more than 200 points last year: Drew Brees and the Steelers defense.

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