free agent alert: tight ends

Three TEs scored in double digits in Week 1: Seattle's John Carlson, New England's Ben Watson and New Orleans' Jeremy Shockey.

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at war with themselves

9th Mississippi Cavalry's 6-person bench outscored their 8-person starting lineup, 39-38.

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a salute to catastrophic success

For their decision-making a couple of weeks ago when they dropped the Eagles defense and immediately picked them back up. That wizard-like move (or moves) provided the margin of victory for Cat Success over Steel Curtain -- the Eagles D had 31 points, more than any fantasy life form up to and including Drew Brees.

Naturally, Cat Success celebrated by again berating the commish as to why fantasy scoring isn't more weighted toward defense.

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your all-minus team, week 1

* Mike Goodson, RB, Carolina (free agent): -1
* Anthony Fasano, TE, Miami (free agent): -2
* Jake Delhomme, QB, Carolina (Weapons of Pass Destruction, but soon to be a free agent): -4

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health care reform? don't worry, the insurance business will get along just fine

Click here to read about Fantasy Sports Insurance, which will reimburse a fantasy football player's entry fee if one of their players misses a certain number of games because of injury.

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Talk Like a Pirate Day is Sept. 19

"We have a plan in place for making this team competitive."

Whoops, wrong Pirates.

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the kennedy chronicles

Where Chappaquiddick was first mentioned in Ted Kennedy obituaries:

* Boston Globe -- 5th paragraph

* Wall Street Journal -- 6th graph

* Associated Press -- 7th graph

* Times of London -- 8th graph

* Washington Post -- 9th graph

* Boston Herald -- 10th graph

* Miami Herald -- 10th graph

* National Journal -- 11th graph

* L.A. Times / Chicago Tribune (same story) -- 12th graph

* New York Daily News -- 13th graph

* New York Times -- 14th graph

* New York Post -- 14th graph

* Reuters -- 18th graph

* USA Today -- 19th graph

* Politico -- 24th graph

* Roll Call -- 25th graph

* The Hill -- no mention

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best fantasy year ever

In 1961, playing for the AFL's Houston Oilers, QB George Blanda threw for 3300 yards and 36 touchdowns ... and also kicked 16 field goals and 64 extra points. Without doing all the math, I'm figuring that put him in the neighborhood of 20 points a game or so (it was a 14-game season back then).

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a soliloquy, as performed by brett favre

(with apologies to William Shakespeare and dithering Danish princes everywhere)

To be, or not to be -- that there's the question.
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
and sling the spiral for outrageous fortune
or to take leave from a D of troubles
and by retiring, end it.
To suit up, perchance to dream: shoot, there's the rub,
for in suiting up what dreams may come
'til we have scrambled off this mortal soil ...

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The usual suspects

Just to recap ...

* Plaxico Burress will serve two years in prison after pleading guilty to a weapons charge.
* Saints K Garrett Hartley to be suspended for four games for testing positive for a stimulant. Taxmen were quick to cut him and pick up older-than-dirt John Carney.
* Brandon Marshall (Diane) acquitted of misdemeanor battery charges. Back with the Bronocs, though still unhappy.
* Eagles have signed Michael Vick (Louis). He'll be back in week 6 at the latest.
* Marshawn Lynch (Neil) will miss the first 3 games after pleading guilty to a gun charge.
* Donte Stallworth has been suspended for the season after pleading guilty to DUI manslaughter.

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